What Women Want from Men (Part I)

Men are often clueless when it comes to what women want! The lack of skill in handling women has left many men frustrated in their relationships.  The movie What Women Want highlights this dilemma. In it, ladies man Mel Gibson had absolutely no idea what women really thought about him. He thought he had women figured out but he had no clue!

He had no idea how far off base he was when it came to women until an accident gave him the ability to hear women’s thoughts. But even after this, he did not know what to do what the thoughts he heard for they differed from woman to woman!

The last point brings me to this disclaimer: No one can say they have mastered what women want. To think this would be ignorance at best. Even so, the things that I am about to share is likely to help any man in his relationship. Of course, women will ultimately be the best judge of this.

So, what do women want? The first thing women want is SECURITY

Women want a secure man

Women feel secure with men who are secure in who they are and what they want in life. It brings a sense of stability and security. Indeed, how can a woman be secure that she can be led by a man if the man does not show that he can lead himself?

Nothing fills a woman more with insecurity than a secretly insecure man. It makes the woman feel as if the man is trying to hide something. This in itself makes women feel very uncomfortable.  The discomfort and insecurity that the lack of manly security evokes in women often shows up as the woman wanting to control the relationship. It may also show up as a power struggle in the relationship.

Men, if women are not showing you the respect you want, it is likely because there is something about you she is insecure about.

Light bulb moment: A secure man is one who finds his security in God. A secure man is one who can share his insecurity with his woman.

Women want to feel secure in the relationship   

Honesty is the key for a woman to feel secure in any relationship. The key advice for men is this: Be honest and truthful with her every time and all the time. Do not hide the truth even if you know she will be disappointed with you.

The lack of honesty and truthfulness in a man is a deal breaker for most women. She will think: If he is lying to me about this, I wonder how many other things he is lying about? Once this thought starts to enter into the mind of a woman, it is nigh impossible for her to get rid of them. Conversely, when a man is honest, the woman feels secure that she knows what she has – even if it is not the best thing.

Many women leave relationships not because of what was done but because their men were unable to tell the truth about it. In other words, while what was done may sink your relationship to the bottom, the bottom of truth and honesty can be the bedrock to rebuild the relationship.

Light-bulb moment: A woman who is secure in her relationship will feel free to focus on all that God has called her to be because she does not have to worry about her future. 

Women want to feel secure financially   

Financial security for a woman does not necessarily mean that she wants the man to be the bread winner of the house. It does mean that she wants to be secure in the knowledge that the man can take care of her if the need arises. This is especially true when she starts to bear children.

Many women secretly carry ‘momma guilt’ for leaving their kids and having to go to work. Moreover, many women resent needing to work. They want the option to work but need to know they have the option to stay home if they so choose.

Today, too many women choose to work despite not having to do so because they are insecure in their relationship. This comes across as ‘I do not want to depend on a man’. This saying normally comes from a woman who is fearful and insecure in her relationship or who has been deeply hurt.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever – 1 Timothy 5:8

Light-bulb moment: Nothing unleashes the full potential of a woman than a secure man who provides financial and relationship security.